Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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