she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
