Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
