I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
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Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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