You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
