hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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