She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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