This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
