My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
