omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
