You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
