If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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