I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
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And then my night got REAL pukey
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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