Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
