Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
