i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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