Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize