My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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