turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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