She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
