Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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