im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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