i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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