Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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