1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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