Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
