My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
tell me about the fingering
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