Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
