so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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