How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
