I think I died a long time ago.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
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I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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