If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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