Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize