Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Terrible idea I love it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
