I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize