This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
