Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
