I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
