just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize