I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
