You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
