I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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