If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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