Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
