Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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