Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Found your dick twin last night
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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