return my video game
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
