So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
