I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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