I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
