i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
the liver wants what the liver wants
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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