WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
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Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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