You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
