I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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